I understand that you woke up early this morning to take care of your obnoxious yappy dog that never shuts up, and I understand that sometimes you need a little cheering up because you fell prey to a little man that told you that you were getting a golden retriever and you received a rat instead of a dog, but this needs to stop. Yes, I'm sorry its brain is tiny and it can't understand NO! or SHUT UP! but now that we're past the "Your dog barks every day all day and drives me crazy" stage I should not hear anything but utter silence from your room.
However a disturbing aberration has begun. I have begun to hear obnoxiously loud music AND your barking dog (if you can call it that). You may WANT to show the world how terrible your taste in music is and cheer yourself up about your miserable existence but I do not want to hear about it!
It may not be QUIET hours, but here at our school we have 24 hour RESPECT hours. So if I wake up at 5 AM and drive to Columbia then decide to nap between classes, I should not be able to hear your music THROUGH MY WALL over my television, which I keep at a respectable volume to respect your ears.
I expect the same amount of respect from you. I choose not to listen to Avril Lavigne and Carrie Underwood for a reason and I do not appreciate being forced to listen to it while I am attempting to nap.
Also, if your yappy hairball continues to bark I will break down the door in my frenzy to strangle it with its own tongue. Then you can listen to the sad, emo music all you want and I can smile contentedly while you do.
You see, my cat doesn't make any noise. If she makes a sound she is requesting that I remove my shoe from her tail.
THIS is what she does all day:
She SLEEPS! If you cannot arrange to have your rat sleep during the day so that I don't lose my mind and go on a seething, murderous rampage I will give you a few suggestions.
1. Benadryl works wonders. Give it two when it eats breakfast and it will sleep through the day... if not the rest of its life...
2. Put it in its kennel and cover it with a sheet. Canaries snooze when they think it's dark... maybe rats do too.
3. Beat it over the head with a shoe. This should guarantee at least an hour of silence. I can do it for you if you like.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding,
Morgan
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