Dear College Students,
Assuming that you attend this school you are most likely female, and above the age of 16. So my question to you is this: why is it that you STILL don't know how to use the TOILET!?
Did you live in a barn? Maybe your tiny boondocks house had and outhouse instead of running water? Because otherwise this is inexcusable!
When I hop into the community bathroom I expect some cleanliness... I don't expect to see the remnants of your bodily functions in the TOILET BOWL!
Do you SEE that big shiny bar? See it? SEE IT!? When you push down on it the water in the bowl goes WHOOSH and all that yucky stuff goes away!!
Imagine that!
If someone took the time to create such a simple waste disposal system one would think that you would be able to handle it, but obviously that is overestimating your abilities.
Now, we need to come to an accord, barn dweller.
I would like you to flush your poo down the toilet. That is what the shiny porcelain thing is there for! To flush that business! Not to leave it sitting in there for someone else to find!
It may be getting close to Christmas, barn dweller, but this is the wrong kind of present!
So I am setting some ground rules:
1. You will flush the toilet. (Instructions to follow.)
2. You will check to make sure everything has gone down.
3. You will wash your hands. Since if you can't even flush the toilet I'm sure your hands must be filthy.
If you cannot follow these simple rules then I will have to revoke your toilet rights and relegate you to a litter box.
Thank you,
Morgan
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